I woke up the other night lyin´ on the floor
Just because of what I said before
She said, "My name´s Juliet, but Romeo you ain´t"
That´s another good reason not to drink
That´s another good reason not to drink

When I´m sober, I´m almost a saint
If I keep goin´ on like this, I´ll end up like ol´ Hank
That´s another good reason not to drink
I can´t go see my best friend, he said stay away
Just because of what I said on his wedding day
"You ought to call her Sherman, ´cause she looks just like a tank"
That´s another good reason not to drink
That´s another good reason not to drink
When I´m sober, I´m almost a saint
If I keep goin´ on like this, I´ll end up like ol´ Hank
That´s another good reason not to drink
I´m gonna sue the city about that police man
Last night as I left the bar, he stepped right on my hand
He, "Are you drunk or blind"; I said, "Let me think"

That´s another good reason not to drink
That´s another good reason not to drink
When I´m sober, I´m almost a saint
If I keep goin´ on like this, I´ll end up like ol´ Hank
That´s another good reason not to drink
That´s another good reason not to drink
When I´m sober, I´m almost a saint
If I keep goin´ on like this, I´ll end up like ol´ Hank
That´s another good reason
Baby, let me in, I´m freezin´
Another good reason not to drink