The mechanic raised up from under my hood, ´n-He shook his head and said: "This ain´t good; Your timin´ belt´s done shrunk one size too small; And those spark plug wires are a little too long,
And your main prodsponder´s nearly gone; Your injector ports are stripped, and that ain´t all...
...Your torque converter´s runnin´ low on torque, And that water pump´s nearly down a quart; We caught it all in time, so you´re in luck." He said, "I´ve got the time, and I´ve got the parts, Just give me the word, and I´m ready to start; I think we can bring her in for-uh, eight-hundred bucks.
But don´t be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny; It won´t take too long, it´ll just take money."
Then he said, "Aren´t you that songwriter guy?"
´n-I said, "Yes I am." He said, "So am I." He set down and played me a song by the grease rack; When he finished singin´ he gave me a smile, And I closed my eyes and pondered a while; ´n-he said, "What do you think? Now don´t hold nothin´ back."
Well I gave him my most sorrowful look, And I said, "This song´s got a broken hook; ´n-I can order you a new one from Nashville, but it won´t be cheap; And I know you´ve been using a cut-rate thesaurus, ´Cause your adverbs have backed up into your chorus, Now your verse is runnin´ on verbs that are way too weak.
But don´t be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny; It won´t take too long, it´ll just take money."
´n-I said, "Hold on friend, Now I´m not through; I hate to be the one, to give you this news, But your whole melodic structure´s done worked itself loose; It´s got so many dotted eighth notes in it, I´d keep her under fifty beats per minute; I mean, that´s just me talkin´, it´s really up to you...
...´n you´ve got a bad safety problem, With that dominant chord, with the augmented fifth,
Just see how dangerously high it raises you up; So just go on over and work on my car, And I´ll sit here by the fan, and chances are, I can straighten this thing out for eight-...uh, nine-hundred bucks.
But don´t be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny; It won´t take too long..."