Put your heavy metal to the test
Might be half a love song in it all for you
Timing wise it´s probably for the best
Come here and kiss me now before it gets too cute

Mr. Schwartz is staying strong for the crew
Wardrobe´s lint-rolling your velveteen suit
Smudging dubbin on your dancing shoes

Gradually it´s coming into view
It´s like your little directorial debut
As fine a time as any to deduce
The fact that neither you or I has ever had a clue

Mr. Schwartz is staying strong for the crew
Wardrobe´s lint-rolling your velveteen suit
Smudging dubbin on your dancing shoes

And if we guess who I´m pretending to be
Do we win a prize?
Having attempted twice, both incorrectly
Do we get a third try?

The gloved hand´s reaching in to hit the switch
There´s not one god damn thing that you can do about this

Mr. Schwartz is having tea with the grips
Asking after all the wives and the kids
It´s at the heart of what the business is