Popular, you´re gonna be popular
I´ll teach you the proper ploys when you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh!

I´ll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair
Everything that really counts to be

Popular, I´ll help you be popular
You´ll hang with the right cohorts, you´ll be good at sports
Know the slang you´ve got to know
So let´s start, ´cause you´ve got an awfully long way to go
Don´t be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I´ve chosen to become a pal
A sister and adviser, there´s nobody wiser
Not when it comes to

Popular, I know about popular
And with an assist from me to be who you´ll be

Instead of dreary who-you-were, well, are
There´s nothing that can stop you from becoming populer... lar