Satan gave me a taco and it made me really sick
The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick
The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard

I was gettin´ kinda dizzy eatin´ all the lard
There was aphids on the lettuce an´ I ate every one
An´ after I was done the salsa melted off my tongue
Pieces of tortilla got stuck in my throat
An´ the stains on my clothes burned a hole through my coat
My stomach was a-tremblin´ and I broke out in a rash
I was so dry and thirsty and I didn´t have no cash
So I went and found a hose, tore off all my clothes
Turned on the water and it shot right up my nose
Some old lady came along and she thought I was a freak
So she beat me with a handbag till I could hardly speak

I was lying there naked, my body badly bruised
In a pool of my own blood, unconscious and confused
Well, the cops came and got me and threw me in their van
And I woke up on the ceiling and I couldn´t find my hand
They took me to the judge, his eyes a-glowin´ red
The courtroom was filled with witches and the dead
Well, the sheriff was a hellhound with fangs and claws
The prisoners were tied up and chained to the walls
The air was gettin´ thick; the smoke was gettin´ thicker
The judge read the verdict: said, "Cut off his head!"

Well, they placed me on the altar, and they raised up the axe
My head was about to explode when I noticed the Marshall stacks
I noticed all the smoke machines, cameras and the lights
Some guy with a microphone, runnin´ around dancin´ in tights
And I noticed the crew and the band playin´ down below
And I realized I was in a rock video

So I went and joined the band and I went out on tour
And I smoked a lot of heroin and I passed out in manure
I made out with the groupies, started fires backstage

I made a lot of money and I gave it all away
Well, the band got killed, so I started a solo career
And I won all the awards and I drank all the beer
I opened up a taco stand just to smell the smell
cookin´ with the devil; frying down in hell

(spoken)
Today´s ah-August 4, 1982; i´m really bored
There was some dead animals we played with
There was a weed whacker, we stole two of them
A cop car was on fire
My friend scott, he was running and he slipped on a twinky
And his nose was covered with blood
Security helicopter shot a spotlight
Somebody pulled their pants down