Well I thought about the army
Dad said, "Son you´re fuckin´ high"
And I thought, yeah there´s a first for everything
So I took my old man´s advice
Three sad semesters

It was only 15 grand spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead
Grew a mustache and a mullet
Got a job at Chick-Fil-A
Citing artistic differences
The band broke up in May
And in June reformed without me
And they´d got a different name
I nuked another grandma´s apple pie
And hung my head in shame, oh
I´ve been thinkin´ a lot today
I´ve been thinkin´ a lot today
Oh, I think I´ll write a screenplay
Oh, I think I´ll take it to L A
Oh, I think I´ll get it done yesterday, ah, shit
In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election

I say to my reflection
God please spare me more rejection
´Cause my peers they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
I´ve been thinking a lot today
I´ve been thinking a lot today
I´ve been thinking a lot today
I thought about the army