Now this may sound disgusting and like very gross
But it´s sure to have you trippin´, so yo, listen close
It´s not bright as the sun or sweet like sugar
But it´s rather on the bug tip and it´s called Pickin´ Boogers

Now what I´m MCin´ might not seem kosher to you
But it´s still somethin´ we all have to do
So go up your nose with a finger or two
And pull out one or a crusty crew
Yo, don´t try to front like it´s so gloomy and gray
´Cause we all pick our boogers some time every day
Whether out in the open or on a sneak tip
With a finger, tissue, or even a Q-Tip
Take it from the Biz Markie because I´m jokin´
And also, remember this slogan
"Hey, ma, what´s for dinner?
Go up your nose and pick a winner"

Pickin´ Boogers (4x)

Let me tell you what happened on the train, man

I was coolin´ one day with my partner Kane
Headed up to the Rooftop, ridin´ the D train
When the man sittin´ next to me was so profane
He´d stick his finger up his nose, then do a drain
(You should ´a moved)
I was just about, but all of a sudden, homeboy just pulled out
A big green slimy — nah, I´m not neven gonna say it
But it weighed a good pound if you tried to weigh it
He sat there for a while with it in his hand
So I tried to play cool and like ignore the man
So I laid my head back to catch a quick a nap
All of a sudden he plucked it dead in my lap
Now Kane sat there laughing like it was all a joke

But a brother like Biz Markie had almost choked
So I dug up my nose and pulled out about five
And plucked every last one of them dead in his eye
Then the man jumped up and said "What´s wrong with you?"
And wiped them off his face and said "I can´t mess with you!"
Like if I did something that was so full of shame
But yo, you got to know the name of the game

Hmmm....
Now let me take a trip down memory lane
Back in public school with my partner Kane
When I was class clown, and he was my brother
Sittin´ at the desk pluckin´ boogers at each other
Never doin´ work as we was supposed

´Cause we was too busy diggin´ up our nose
And in the lunchroom you would talk about rude
God forbid the person that´d leave his food
No matter who you are we didn´t give a damn
We even put teachers down with the program
Whether if it was a woman or if you a man
We put boogers on our fingers then shake ya hand
Catch anyone from anywhere
But the best fun about it catchin´ Kane out there
Especially when we playin´ ball in the gym
I put boogers on the basketball and pass it to him
Now we´re grown up and things have changed
But we still be playin´ the pickin´ boogers game
Just last night, when Kane was gettin´ ready
I slipped a little green one inside his spaghetti

Let me tell you what happened to me with this girl...

One night at Latin Quarters I was standin´ at ease
I saw this gorgeous young lady that I wanted to skeez
I didn´t show enough that I really did want it
So, no half steppin´, I pushed up on it
Pulled out the gold cable and I knocked her with phat
Had a spotlight beamin´ on my Biz Marck hat
But when she stepped in the light and she got real close
I saw a tiny weeny booger on the tip of her nose
She was dressed real def and her body was hooked
But that dried up booger just ruined her look
I wanted to tell her about it but I couldn´t be bold
So I played if off and said "that´s a cute green mole"

I was hopin´ from that she would wipe it away
But she didn´t do nothin´ I guess she wanted it to stay
I said before you get my number, I don´t mean to diss you
But write it in your hand because you´re gonna need the tissue