Well, I woke up in the morning
There´s frogs inside my socks
Your mama, she´s a-hidin´
Inside the icebox
Your daddy walks in wearin´

A Napoleon Bonaparte mask
Then you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, do you have to ask?

Well, I go to pet your monkey
I get a face full of claws
I ask who´s in the fireplace
And you tell me Santa Claus
The milkman comes in
He´s wearing a derby hat
Then you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, how come you have to ask me that?

Well, I asked for something to eat
I´m hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed
And a dirty hot dog
I´ve got a hole

Where my stomach disappeared
Then you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, I gotta think you´re really weird.

Your grandpa´s cane
It turns into a sword
Your grandma prays to pictures
That are pasted on a board
Everything inside my pockets
Your uncle steals
Then you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, I can´t believe that you´re for real.

Well, there´s fist fights in the kitchen
They´re enough to make me cry
The mailman comes in
Even he´s gotta take a side
Even the butler

He´s got something to prove
Then you ask why I don´t live here
Honey, how come you don´t move?