Oh lighten up, where´s your sense of humor
They´re just tiny little rumors
That I started `cause I´m lookin´ out for you
Ah settle down, I´m just a little jealous
And I´m sure those other fellas

Never once believed the lies I told were true

Like the time I told that cowboy that you used to be a man
And the doctor you were datin´ that you hide your wedding band
Even if I am responsible for scaring them away
You really ought to thank me, I was doin´ you a favor
`Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

Ah can´t you see, the reason that I´m doin´
All the crazy things I´m doin´
Is because I really care about you girl
And I´ll admit that I go a little farther
Than I know I probably oughta
But it´s all because I need you in my world

Like the time I told that lawyer that you spent a year in jail
And the salesman you were seein´ you hang out at cheap motels
Even if I am responsible for scaring them away
You really ought to thank me, I was doin´ you a favor
`Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

I can´t stand the thought of you with anybody else
I know I´ve gone overboard but I can´t help myself

Like the time I told that dentist you had seven little kids
And you doubled as a dancer at the strip joint on the ridge
Even if I am responsible for scaring him away
You really ought to thank me, I was doin´  you a favor

`Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

It´s all because I love you and I can´t stop thinkin´ of you
And it never woulda worked out anyway