I was 5 years old when I first questioned the value of my life I don´t know why the ignorant bliss most kids experience fully missed me but it did My mother was dropping me off at the schoolyard when I asked her if I was a mistake
I could tell I disturbed her And though these thoughts run constant yet They were the birth of many troubling years to come
Please forgive me mama I know that it killed you inside Your tears weren´t for nothing I´m having the time of my life
By the time I was twelve I was fully convinced I wanted to die I saw no love or beauty in anything My reflection disgusted me and all I had were bad thoughts now My problems felt unimportant and I insignificant in my own home I saw how badly my mother was hurting too
The last thing I wanted was to burden her further so I thought it best I go to sleep for a very long time But when I woke I was rather dissapointed
Please forgive me mama I know that it killed you inside Your tears weren´t for nothing I´m having the time of my life
At 16 years old I dropped out of school and decided to give the old happy pills a chance Pills didn´t seem to help too much though My faculties continued to fail me time and time again It was at my childhood friend´s birthday that I really lost it Smashing my head into my poor mothers car
I was hospitalised shortly after
Please forgive me mama I know that it killed you inside Your tears weren´t for nothing I´m having the time of my life Please forgive me mama I know that it killed you inside Your tears weren´t for nothing I´m having the time of my life
Hey Romy, it´s your mom Please give me a call I don´t know if you want some (?) Me and dad are trying to reach you Making sure everything is okay