When it came to me one day in Jerksville
Man, I was right on the edge
That jacket´s too small for a man of your size
And those socks are too big for your head

My eyes glaze at whatever you say
But I´m listening, do tell me more
It goes under the bridge, right over my head
And out through my portable door

I was trapped in a dire situation
Between reason and someone-in-law
The winner takes all and runs off with the ball
Nothing could pleasure me more

Times were, I´d have spoken my piece
For a minute or two held the floor
But I can´t get a word in so here I am hurtling
Right out through my portable door

The jabbering´s hurting my brain cell so bad
For once in my life I am bored
The public house beckons, I follow the call

And slip in through my portable door

The unlikely event came upon me
I wasn´t prepared for the shock
Once round my neck and twice round the deck
And the rest disappeared up the block

So here we are and everything´s changed
Faster than ever before
You gotta be jokin´, man what are you smoking
Blow it out through my portable door