Mother, Father, I´m here in the zoo
I can´t come home ´cause I´ve grown up too soon
I got my sentence, I got my command
They said they´d make me major if I met all their demands

I could be a corporal into corporal punishment
Or the general manager of a large establishment
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod
But I never thought they´d put me in the...

Goon squad
They´ve come to look you over and they´re giving you the eye
Goon squad
They want you to come out to play, you´d better say goodbye

Some grow up just like their dads and some grow up too tall

Some go drinking with the lads, some don´t grow up at all
You must find the proper place for everything you see
But you´ll never get to make a lampshade out of me

I could join a chain of males or be the missing link
Looking for a lucky girl to put me in the pink
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod
But I never thought they´d put me in the...

Goon squad
They´ve come to look you over and they´re giving you the eye

Goon squad
They want you to come out to play, you´d better say goodbye

Mother, Father, I´m doing so well
I´m making such progress now that you can hardly tell
I fit in a little dedication with one eye on the clock
They caught you under medication, you could be in for a shock
[Pre-Chorus 3]
Thinking up the alibis that everyone´s forgotten
Just another Mummy´s boy gone to rotten
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod
But I never thought they´d put me in the...

Goon squad
They´ve come to look you over and they´re giving you the eye
Goon squad
They want you to come out to play, you´d better say goodbye