He stands, pen in his hand like Edward Scissorhands Who slices competition and just goes about his business Anyone who knows about him knows about his shindig Shenanigans, and all his wacky antics in the papers Shady´s danglin´ a baby tangled in a blanket, stranglin´ And hangin´ him over the railing by the ankles on some gangster shit Hailie´s name, I´m changin´ it to handkerchief Hell with Shady, Michael is my new alter-ego That´s why you always hear me sayin´ "Where the fuck did he go?" He ain´t insane, he´s crazy man Ripping off a baby´s pants
He prefers them male ´cause you can say he ain´t a ladysman Yeah, I´m back, more malevolent than I´ve ever been Give the kids a medal, quit meddlin´ in my storage bin This is what you wanted, right? A day with Marshall Mathers? Be on your best behavior, I´ll get you a caramel apple I promise you don´t have to fear, yeah I´m there, here, I´m everywhere, bleh! All these voices in my head, you´ll probably think that I was schitzo I´m this close, it´s so scary, my new alias is
Michael, he´s the Antichrist
He will slice and dice children His name is Michael, he´s the Antichrist He will slice and dice children
My brother said my mother left my father My sister said my mother left my dad Now we all have a brand new stepfather Who touches me at night when I´m in bed
It´s winter, as I enter the daycare center In a disguise, mustache, some fake hair and a three-piece suit Ready, set to take care of business Suddenly, I spot the dequent Blair Witches At the movies, it´s a date Moving undercover in a coat
Ah fuck, I said "don´t stare at this, y´all" So what you gon´ do? This ain´t R-rated, that´s a joke Woah, Jack, just stay here, watch how fast I fly, why? Running down the hall, flippin´ the fuckin´ deputy off while I pass him by I get home, set my hand to the side It´s like I got damaged, broke hand and a fuckin´ blackened eye Soon as I get a bandage, I´m back out to find some fucked, jacked up little brat, could cry I´m not done, he slices and dices The police don´t suffice for the Antichrist So get your hands up
Michael, he´s the Antichrist
He will slice and dice children His name is Michael, he´s the Antichrist He will slice and dice children
My brother said my mother left my father My sister said my mother left my dad Now we all have a brand new stepfather Who touches me at night when I´m in bed
Why can´t I slice and dice kids like the Antichrist? I wish I may, I rant as I might I tend to ramble off on a little bit of a tangent
´Till he can´t sit, I know the thought´s a little rancid
But that´s what these little rugrats get For dancin´ and prancin´ around in them Spider-Man pajamas And that´s what the cameras outside the master bedroom are for You sleep on the bed and I´ll sleep on the floor The only one left, that´s who I adore So just don´t stretch back, you don´t gotta fret, Sam Or switch to the next cam, so you want the Pokémon bed? Or the racecar comforter? Whichever one you pick I´m gonna end up on the covers, then fuck you with the rubber The Antichrist! I´m kidding, it´s a joke! Psych!