You claim if you get knocked by the cops
You´ll give ´em not even a statement
Walk in the arraignment, shoot the bailiff
Karate kick the plaintiff
Gotti with the stainless

I´ll just call it shoddy entertainment
If y´all was in the party gettin´ faded
On molly, had the audience sedated
You wouldn´t catch a body if it fainted
Probably let it fall and hit the pavement
But you´d be the first lobbyin´ to claim it
Bitch, stop bein´ a lame
Your hobby isn’t robbery and dismemberin´ body limbs
Like you was Tommy Lynn Sells
And chainsawing them in the basement
Hardly fits your job description
Ain´t nobody dippin´ out the back of the club like, "Oh my God, he´s trippin´"
Only time you get the blade is probably with the dang lawn equipment, ain´t it?
Wouldn´t take a bobby pin and wave it
I need to stop bein´ debated

You´re still copyin´, Xeroxing, I´m still coppin´ a feel
Like Bill Cosby at will, popping a pill then spill Oxys in Jill´s coffee
Then send her out to the hotel lobby a lil´ wobbly and still groggy
This blonde f*cks reprehensible misconducts, never sensible
Kiss my butt, my set of principles is gone
But ´til I get the President to respond
My pen and pencil is a missile launcher
And send it to Mitch McConnell
Just as big of a bitch as Donald
Shit´s on, bruh
Let me sing this sh*t soprano
While I do it pizzicato
Ivanka, stiff arm her
While I´m hittin´ on Melania

And this song´s for all ya

´Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms
I hope you offended
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
But I´ma make you eat your words
I hope you offended
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
´Cause you´re only gonna make things worse
I hope you offended
´Cause I swear when I get up I´m never gonna let up
´Til everybody eats my turds

These drums and hard snares bring out the worst in me

Like Justin Ross Harris at a nursery
Goin´ ham at candy yam on nanny cam
I´m gettin´ handys with the zanny Xannys in the Caddy armrest
I´m imagining objects, so I´m batting cobwebs
From a daddy longleg
And Hamtramck, got the panoramic camera
Xanax, a banana hammock and a Santa hat
I´m smellin´ like a damn mechanic
With a chick that looks like Janet Jackson with a Spanish accent
Twice your age and I´m actin´ half it
Grow up? Nah
Not that I know of, y´all
Basement just got a frickin´ overhaul, got a stripper pole installed
Started rollin´ all through those Kolonopins like a bowlin´ ball

Like an overdose on twice the ratio of Propofol and go through no withdrawal
While I get fellatio and give a facial to an interracial blow-up doll and Rachel Dolezal
You´re so appalled, so´s my manager (Em)
Bitch I´m amateur, f*ck a pro career
Coast is clear, but nowhere to go from here
And nobody´s close, so don´t compare
They ain´t nowhere near, I´m way over here
My competition can´t see me
´Cause I don´t own a mirror
But Marshall, you are terrific, so smart and gifted
I´m so narcissistic, when I fart, I sniff it
Do a fake dab to smell my armpits with it
Your anxiety´s throwin´ gang signs
But I made strides with these rape lines
I´m cuttin´ back on women hate crimes

Like Ray Rice when he FaceTimes
Bang, bang, bang, bang time
Dang knives to butcher them gay wives
You couldn´t eat citrus the same size
As the blade I push into [?] when I...
Pull ´em like... sleigh rides
Gotta stab a bitch at least eight times
To make it on Dateline
I came to stake my claim like a canine
Waitin´ in a buffet line
So Kellyanne Conway, I´m a really bad hombre
Come play, belly dance on me
I´ve been making wedding plans all day

´Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms
I hope you offended
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt

But I´ma make you eat your words
I hope you offended
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
´Cause you´re only gonna make things worse
I hope you offended
´Cause I swear when I get up I´m never gonna let up
´Til everybody eats my turds

Eight year old with the wordplay
Girl, take this pole like a survey
Today wasn´t my birthday
But I´m caked up like a dessert tray
So we´re in shape
´Cause you´re in a slurrin´ state
I´m a 10, you´re an 8
Like what I do before, after, and you´re in [?]

You wanna get into a pissin´ contest and find out who´s better?
And they made a fool out of what I pulled out him
R. Kelly with a full bladder
Not in high school, grad, I´m not a scholar
But I´m so cold that I´m droppin´ out with my degrees
It´s the same as I got in college (zero)
But nobody´s hotter, you owe me my respect
I owe you nada like [?] partner that blow me
Told you I´m so dirty, homie you can throw me in some holy water
With some floaties on
And get to soakin´, try to get to poke a hole in
Why you hoes be off? And nope I won´t be washed
You hope to God I don´t explode, I gotta blow this spot up, though
I got a lotta more

I won´t put the sugar coating on it though
´Cause sometimes you can feel like your energy´s expired
Rap´s got you drained, dead tired, zapped
You feel like a wet pile of crap
But look, man, like the feds buggin´ my phone, uh huh
I get why you´re tapped
But you gotta get your fire back
Catch fire, get upset and fire back
Is what I tell myself
When times get bad
´Cause sometimes I might get sad
Well I take the same advice I had
And tell myself like I used to tell Hailie, when life´s a drag
Told her to do like her dad, don´t cry, get mad
´Cause little baby powders belong in diaper bags
I´m hyper, by the time you see this side of me
I´m right in your ass
´Fore the pen, I stood up for the kid who had to put up with the bullies at his school (at his school)
You ain´t have to have no money or go shoppin´ just to cop a f*ckin´ attitude
Now my dough´s amountin´ to a mountain, it´s rised too high to count it
Never asked to be rich, all I did was wish I had a dime for every time that I was doubted
But then I think about it and I´m enraged
´Cause I just figured out that if I was paid
For the time I spent to put the pen to the page
It´d be minimum wage
But it´s embedded in my head and if I hunted for the bread
And what I wanted was to be the one that they was scared of
But I´m never gonna get the credit for the sweat and blood I put up in the pen
And when I´m dead I wonder will they put me on a pedestal
Or forget I was ever this incredible
I guess I better go harder than ever ´cause I´ll never get
Another mothaf*ckin´ opportunity again
To offend as many people with this I can, simply because I can

´Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms
I hope you offended
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
But I´ma make you eat your words
I hope you offended
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
´Cause you´re only gonna make things worse
I hope you offended
´Cause I swear when I get up I´m never gonna let up
´Til everybody eats my turds