In my yellow jersey, I went out on the nick.
South Street Romford, shopping arcade
Got a Razzle magazine, I never paid
Inside my jacket and away double quick.
Good sense told me, once was enough

But I had a cocky eye on more of this stuff
With the Razzle in my pocket, back to have another peek

Instead of being sneeky I strolled inside,
I put my thieving hand on something rude
I walked right out with a silhouette of nudes
´Hold on sonny´ said a voice at my side
´i think you´ve taken one of my books´
Passers by gave me dirty looks
´Not me mister´ I bravely lied

We stopped by the window of a jeweller´s shop
´If it´s money for your lunch, I´d have given you a loan
Have you got any form, were you on your own?
Round to the station and we´ll tell the cops´
´I´m ever so ashamed, it was wicked and rash

Here´s the book back, and here´s the cash
I never stole before, I promise I´ll stop´

´Crime doesn´t pay, you´ve got honest eyes
If we go to the law another thief is born
And I´ll get the book back, creased and torn
So return what you´ve taken and apologise´
I gave him back his nudie book
I said I was sorry, I slung my hook
With the Razzle in my pocket as the second prize