Oh, oh deary me
My little brother´s in his bedroom smoking weed
I tell him he should get up ´cause it´s nearly half past three
He can´t be bothered ´cause he´s high on THC

I ask him very nicely if he´d like a cup of tea
I can´t even see him cause his room is so smoky
Don´t understand how one can watch so much TV
My baby brother Alfie, how I wish that you could see

I only say it cause I care
So please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now there´s no need to swear
Please don´t despair my dear mon frere

Oh Alfie get up it´s a brand new day,
I just can´t sit back and watch you waste your life away.
You need to get a job because the bills need to get paid
Get off your lazy arse, Alfie please use your brain

Surely there´s some walls out there that you can go and spray
I´m feeling guiltier for leading you astray
Now how the hell do you ever expect that you´ll get laid
When all you do is stay in playing your computer games?

I only say it cause I care
So please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now there´s no need to swear
Please don´t despair my dear mon frere

Oh little brother please refrain from doing that
I´m trying to help you out so can you stop being a twat
It´s time that you and I sat down and had a little chat

And look me in the eyes, take off that stupid fitted cap

I only say it cos I care
So please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now there´s no need to swear
Please don´t despair
Please don´t despair
My mon frere