Alright, so this is a song about anyone, it could be anyone
You´re just doing your own thing and someone comes out the blue, they´re like:
"Alright, whataya saying?"

"Yeah, can I take your digits?´
And you´re like, "No, not in a million years, you´re nasty, please leave me alone."

Cut to the pub on a lad´s night out
Man at the bar, ´cause it was his shout
Clocks this bird and she looked okay
She caught him looking and walked his way
"Alright, darlin´, you gonna buy us a drink then?"
"Er, no, but I was thinking of buying one for your friend..."

She´s got no taste, hand on his waist
Tries to pull away, but her lip´s on his face
"If you insist, I´ll have a White Wine Spritzer"
"Sorry, love, but you ain´t a pretty picture"

Can´t knock ´em out, can´t walk away
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say (´Er, sorry, yeah, but nah´)
"Just get out my face, just leave me alone
And, no, you can´t have my number (why?), ´cause I lost my phone"

´Oh, yeah, actually yeah, I´m - I´m pregnant. Um, yeah, I´m having a baby in like six months and uh, yeah, yeah...´

I recognize this guy´s way of thinking
As he walks over, her face starts sinking
She´s like, "Ah, here we go"
It´s a routine check that she already knows
She´s thinkin´, "They´re all the same"
"Yeah, you alright, baby? You look alright still, yeah, what´s your name?"

She looks in her bag, takes out a fag
Tries to get away from the guy on a blag
Can´t find a light - "Here, use mine"
"You see, the thing is I just don´t have the time"

Can´t knock ´em out (can´t knock ´em out)
You can´t walk away (you can´t walk away)
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say (´Er, I´m really sorry, but not this time, mate´)
"Just get out my face, just leave me alone
And, no, you can´t have my number, ´cause I lost my phone"

Go away now, let me go
Are you stupid, or just a little slow?

Go away now, I´ve made myself clear (I don´t think so)
"Nah, it´s not gonna happen, not in a a million years!"

Can´t knock ´em out (can´t knock ´em out)
You can´t walk away (you can´t walk away)
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say (´Er...´)
"Just get out my face, just leave me alone
And, no, you can´t have my number, ´cause I lost my phone"

Can´t knock ´em out
You can´t walk away
Try desperately to think of the (´Uh, actually, I´m getting married next week´) politest way to say

"Just get out my face, just leave me alone (´No, no, seriously´)
And, no, you can´t have my number, ´cause I lost my phone"

"Er, no my -  I´ve gotta go, my house is on fire! [Laughter]
I´ve got  I´ve got herpes!
Err, no, syphilis!
AIDS, AIDS, I got AIDS! [Laughter]
[I forgot my Vagisil!]
Huh? I forgot my Vagisil, yeah, I forgot my, oh shit...
[Smells like off kippers down there]