Here´s one of the two of us In 1954 don´t laugh I keep all of the pictures Are you going to take a photograph Here´s something nice for you
A dear old thing came to a show Last time here we did An interview on local radio
Make yourself at home my darling Come on in Hand me down that jar love Can I offer you a gin
We´re proud to be the oldest Ugly sisters in variety There´s not the glamour now You see what happened to society There´s another light bulb gone They don´t all answer to the switch I don´t know how we carry on And her she couldn´t care the bitch
But in a while the old boys In the band begin to play And in a while the houselights And the curtains slide away
And something´s going to happen To make your whole life better Your whole life better one day Something´s going to happen To make your whole life better Your whole life better one day
Now the landlady´s all squared away It´s just a temporary deal I´m afraid tonight it´s take-away You see there is no evening meal Don´t worry dear you shall go to the ball I think the fairy said
These suitcases have seen it all From under someone else´s bed
You want to smile those tears away Now don´t you cry You want to know what I say I say never say die
´Cos something´s going to happen To make your whole life better Your whole life better one day Something´s going to happen To make your whole life better Your whole life better one day