Another day, another dollar
Your nigga´s home
Don´t make me holler
Is anybody home?
Hmm, I guess not

Let´s see what´s on the hellavision

U like the food here?
(Yeah)
Good, huh?
(It´s alright)
Try the canolli, it´s fabulous
(I´m kinda full, alright)
Mmm
U gonna eat that meatball there?
U, U just gonna let it...
Maybe girl made some food out here
Here, give it 2 me
U´re not gonna eat it
(At least not now)
Mmm, let´s see what I can get up here 2 grease on
Mmm, yeah
Best meatball in the city

What are U doin´ there?
Hmm, this might work
(Give it 2 me, I´ll eat it)
Lemme see, mmm
So tell me, U like broads?
(They´re alright, I...)
Yep
Boy, have I got a broad story 4 U
Yeah, some corn, yeah
(Jesus)
Let´s see, uh
I´m on a date with this broad, right?
Lets´ see, stove top directions, uh
I bring her here
(Here?)
Yeah, right here
I thought I´d put some food in her belly
Empty contents into small sauce pan, hmm

U know, get a little curve in her slope
U know what I´m sayin?
(Slope?)
Right...
Now let me go see if I can find one of these muthaf**kers, hmm
(Oh, gosh)
So I´m like "Go ahead toots, order what U like, it´s on me"
Make her think I´m a big shot, U know
I said "So order, order somethin´ 4 me 2
I´m gonna run 2 the little boys room
Hmm, shit, that definitely ain´t no sauce pan
I gotta burp the baby
Mmm, that ain´t no sauce pan
U know what I´m sayin´?"
I figured she´d order me somethin´ light
Let me see if I can find this shit

Like a couple of salads or somethin´
Boy, was that a mistake
(Why?)
I comes back from the bathroom
Alright, got it, got it
I´m sittin´ there
Ah, that´s cool
Waitin´ 4 the food
Now, if I can just get this corn open
This broad ordered the whole left side of the menu!
OK, let´s see
Said she just wanted 2 nibble
Where´s the damn can opener? Shit!
Nibble my ass
I´ll open this muthaf**ker
I´m hungry!
This broad ate every f**kin´ thing except the silverware

Shit ain´t openin´
(Come on)
I kid U not
{phone rings}
Shit´s gonna open now
I mean, she was a little on the thick side 2 begin with
Alright, I got it, mmm hmm
U know what I mean?
But I figured she´d have the decency 2 pig out when she got home
Talk

(Hey brother, what´s up?)
Not here, right?
(Right)
I mean U, U ever had a broad do that?
Ain´t nothin´ but a wang

(No, not really)
F**kin´ pisses U off, am I right?
My girl´s gone somewhere
Right, so I reaches over
I... I´m just cookin´
I took the f**kin´ mashed potatoes and I threw ´em all over that broad
Hey, hey, what´s this?
(Now wait a minute)
That ain´t all though, check this out
Hmm, let me call U back
(What?)
The waiter sees what just happened
What the...
He´s gonna be Mr. Macho, right
He comes over and says
"What U do that 4?"
"I´m sick of the changes U put me through?"

(And U said?)
I said "What the f**k business is it of yours?
I´m payin´ 4 these f**kin´ potatoes
"All U think about is music?"
I´ll do what the f**k I wanna do with´em!
Now bring me a f**kin´ finger bowl!"
"I´m leavin´ your NBA no ballin´ ass?"
(What happened?)
What happened?
I´ll tell U what happened
Ain´t that a bitch?
Here, gimme some of that meatball
(Hey, hey, I was gonna eat that)
This punk waiter, he think he´s the hero type, right
Punk
He throws the finger bowl on my head
I kid U not

I´m sittin´ there, head soakin´ wet
Mashed potatoes in my finger nails
And this broad´s crackin´ up
(Ha ha ha ha)
I kid U not
She´s rollin´ on the carpet, people...
Gimme some water there
(Hey, hey, get...)
People leavin´ the restaurant
She´s laughin´ so hard potatoes are flyin´ off her head
(U got mad?)
Damn right I was mad!
I said, "Very funny"
(Well, it is kinda funny)
And I left her f**kin´ ass right there
Rollin´ in those f**kin´ mashed potatoes
And I left this joint with out payin´ a dime

(Well, what are U eatin´ here now 4 I mean?)
That´s the killer!
I was so mad I bought this joint
(But the girl...)
F**kin´ right
(What happened 2 her, man?)
That´s her over there, workin´ the f**kin´ cash register
(Naw, her?)
U gonna eat this?
(That´s the mashed potato girl?)
Here, gimme this bread
(She´s, she´s great, what do U mean?)
Is this the best bread in the city or what?
What the f**k´s your problem?
(Look at her, she´s, she´s gorgeous)
U eat like a f**kin´ parakeet
(What...)
I´m still hungry
U hungry?
(Naw, naw)
Naw, U not hungry
U want some bird seed or somethin´?
Look here, order me somethin´!
(Man, shut up now)
I´m gonna run 2 the little boys room