Me first day in the shipyard, the gaffer says to me,
"I want ye to go to the store lad and get a few things, ye see?
Now here´s a list, can ye read lad? Can ye read it back to me?

And me and the boys´ll listen while were having wah morning tea."

Now reading was me pride when I left school at fourteen,
There wouldn´t be no problem here, I´d show them I was keen,
But when I starts to reading, they just couldn´t hold their mirth,
Hugging themselves and spluttering like they was giving birth.

"First off a brace of sky hooks and a packet of nail holes neat,
And then three cans of tartan paint, and that´s me task complete."
The gaffer pats me on the head and sends me on me way,

He says, "Don´t come back empty handed lad, or I´ll have to dock yr pay."

So I gets to the store all nervous and the quartermaster´s there,
I pulls the list out of me pocket and I starts to read all square,
Well I hadn´t barely finished when the store-man´s face turns red,
He gives me such an evil look I thought I´d soon be dead.

"First off a brace of sky hooks and a packet of nail holes neat,
And then three cans of tartan paint, and that´s me task complete."
The store-man swipes me on the head and sends me on me way,

With a kick in the arse for me efforts, and such was my first day.

I gets back home that evening and me mother says to me,
"How was it son? How was your day? Sit down and have some tea."
I told her of the list I´d read and the trouble I was in,
I couldn´t go back tomorrow or the gaffer´d have me skinned.

"First off a brace of sky hooks and a packet of nail holes neat,
And then three cans of tartan paint, and that´s me task complete."
Me mother swipes me on the head and sends me on me way,

With a kick in the arse for me efforts, and such was my first day.