Dear penis, I don´t think I like you any more,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all you do is stare at the floor,
Oh, Dear penis, I don´t like you any more.

It used to be you and me,
A paper towel and a dirty magazine,
That´s all we needed to get by,
Now it seems things have changed,
And I think that you´re the one to blame,
Dear penis, I don´t like you any more.

He sings.

Dear Rodney, I don´t think I like you any more,
´Cause when you get to drinkin´,
You put me places I´ve never been before,
Dear Rodney, I don´t like you any more.

Why can´t we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship,
Come to terms with truly how we feel,
If we put our heads together,

We can just stay home forever,
Dear Penis, I think I like you after all.